#'it shouldn't be this hard right

[coquelicoq]

it's about...longevity? stability? it's about natsume believing he'll be somewhere long enough to plant flowers and see them bloom. it's about him taking touko seriously when she asks him to tell her what flowers he wants to plant. it's about making something with his own hands, building a future with the fujiwaras. it's about him repairing a rundown home for someone else, restoring it because it's beloved to them, because it's the home of someone they love. it's about him seeing touko's joy and thinking about the youkai saying we'd like to look upon her happy face forever. it's about the box garden making him think of the fujiwaras' garden and his parents' garden, about the flowers being both the memory of flowers that bloomed there before, and the flowers that he and the youkai planted earlier that day. it's about him waking up in both worlds with sensei. it's about touko finding the petal in his hair. it's about him feeling how he falls short and the youkai saying, but you have such gentle hands...

[torchickentacos]

sigh

[teddybeartoji]

forced handjobs in public hhhhhrrrnngghhhhhh

[hballegro]

local man acts how he always acts and is accused of homosexuality

[cautionwetspiralstaircase]

here's pili's end-of-stream rant from yesterday (right after killing ros for the second time) that i transcribed for fun earlier ^ ^ ft. him yelling at god (?) and freaking out about pangi

(source: Dtowngato 27/28 Jan 2025 PREPARING MYSELF TO FIGHT CLOWNPIERCE (im cooked) - Realms SMP ---- Main Account @/dtowncat, around 2h51min)

(CW suicidal ideation i guess)

Pili: I’m done. [Bad: Pili!] [laughing] I am done. I am done. I am done. I am so done. I- [laughs] I am so done! I can’t do this anymore. I- I can’t do this anymore. I am done. I am leaving this place. I’ll come back on the 31st, and you know what- you know what- maybe I do deserve dying, maybe I do deserve to get myself humiliated, [yelling] I am done! I am- [in a more normal voice, as he turns around and starts looting Ros’ drops] I- actually kinda need the armour, gimme a second. [laughs] Lemme- lemme- [in a loud voice] spare change... [stuttering] Spare- spare change... Spare- spare change- ooh, cobweb. Spare change... Spare change, anyone? Any- s- um. Um. Spare change... Um. [To BBH] Can you give Ros her tools? I’m just leaving this place. I am so- [Bad: Mm-hm] you know what, [laughing] I am so done. I am- [starts running out of spawn] I am so done! I’m leaving! I’m leaving! I’m leaving! I am so leaving. D- I’m done. I’m done. I’m done. I’m done. I am sick and tired of no one taking me seriously, I am sick and tired- I tell people things, they don’t understand, [laughing] they- don’t understand, I- am done. I’m done. I’m gonna leave Ros, one life, maybe she’ll start appreciating her life more. Maybe. Maybe- [indistinct noises]

[quietly] I’m done. I’m done. I’m so done. I’m so done. I’m- so actually done. [pause] [shoots a teleportation arrow] I’m so- you know what, I- I genuinely feel so bad about it- [falls from a height before getting teleported again] oh. Ouchie. [inhales] I genuinely- I genuinely- I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. If I’m such a bother, if I’m such- an asshole that I’m gonna leave. Like no one ever wants me and I- I get why. I’m not playing victim here, I get why, but it’s just, I’m- I’m done. I’m done. I’m done. I’m done. I’m done. I’m done. I’m done. I’m done with this, I’m done with everyone, I’m- I’m- yknow what? [getting louder] I deserve this. And here’s the thing. [laughing] I’m not victimising myself, I’m a fucking asshole! And what?! I am! And what! I- This- is- literally happening, is gonna happen over and over and over again, and it’s just gonna get worse, it’s just gonna be worse than before, and I’m not gonna be able to stop it! I’m not gonna be able to stop myself! So I might as well just like actually leave. I might- I might actually just leave. I might actually- I’ll come back on the 31st, everyone fucking hates me probably. Everyone fucking hates me now. Like it’s done! It’s done! It’s not- there’s no coming back from this. There’s no coming- I- I do this to myself. Every single time. [hits the table] I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this. No, I deserve this. I- deserve this. I...

[inhales] I just- [pause] [laughs] I deserve this. 

I actually deserve to die. [pause] You know- [pause] [laughing a little] when I get my fucking ass beat, I am so gonna enjoy every single second of it. When he makes me- actually fucking regret every single choice. I’m gonna be enjoying it so bad, cuz- I for sure deserve it now. 

I’m just leaving. I’m- I’m- I’m just leaving.

I’m such a fucking coward. [inhale] I am such a fucking coward. [laughing] I am- I am such a fucking coward and I hate myself!! Oh my god! [inhale] Ever- [voice breaking, laughs again] Every single time! Dude. Oh my god! Every single time! I can never do it! I can- [frustrated yell]

Such a fucking- coward, dude. It’s crazy. Dude! It’s just- why do I keep killing- weak people?! Why?! I don’t understand! It’s actually a problem! Oh my god! 

[yelling] Like- what am I supposed to do?! [frustrated noise] Like- they don’t even give a proper fight! Like- [pause] like- Tubbo died in two hits, Ros died earlier, Ros died now in two hits- like- I killed Piso for fuck’s sake! I killed Piso! It was Piso’s like first fucking day on the server in like a month. And I killed him! And I fucking killed him! I killed Fit! I- am the only person that I- really wanna fucking kill. I can’t! I literally can’t! I’m- [stuttering] always standing there like a stupid fucking idiot. I always stand there like a- stupid fucking idiot. And I’m [laughing] never- I- 

[he walks past a skeleton horse trap and lightning strikes]

Oh. For fuck’s sake. [looks up at the sky] Can you please leave me alone for one damn time. I am. So done. I am so done. Like how much you want me to suffer, how much- how many times- how many times, cause you made me this way. You fucking made me this way and you know that I can’t stop, but you didn’t make me even strong enough- you didn’t have the fucking guts to make me strong enough, dude. That is- [frustrated noise] [inhale] I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I need to- I need to take a chill pill. I- actually, hashtag chill pill. Cuz we are so chill. I am so chill I am so chill I am so chill I am so chill I- I am so nonchalant, I am so chill that if a fucking zombie just took- actually, no! Actually, you know what, maybe I don’t deserve to die in Clown’s hands! Maybe this entire time I don’t deserve it, cos I don’t feel like I’ve earned it. I am- I need to- I need to work harder, I need to train harder, I- [pause] I need- to work harder cause I- it’s so far not good enough. I have- [indistinctly] it’s so far not good enough, and I don’t know, I think this time I might take the L again [mumbling] I genuinely think this might be the one that I take the L. Yeah, I know, never gonna be good enough. [laughs] [inhales] My whole life is a joke! It’s actually baffling. [inhales] My whole life is a joke. [inhales] [quietly] Oh, no. Pangi’s so dead. Poor Pangi is so dead. [laughs] He’s so dead! [quietly] I- fucking killed him. Oh my god I’m so stupid, I’m so stupid I fucking killed him. Oh my god I fucking did it. [pause] Oh my god I fucking- dude. [exhales] It’s gonna happen again, it’s gonna happen again isn’t it, it’s gonna happen again! [inhales] It’s gonna happen again!! Ahh!! Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh- I wasn’t even thinking about him. Oh my god. I wasn’t even thinking! I wasn’t even thinking properly I wasn’t even thinking through! Oh my god I’m so stupid I’m so stupid I’m so stupid! I wasn’t even thinking through! Oh poor Pangi- ohh my god- [quieter] how many more times am I have to go through this, again- [laughs]. I- w- [frustrated noise] I genuinely wish that I never met him. I genuinely wish that I never met him. This is.

Oh my god... Ohh. That guy is gonna- [falls a short distance] oh my f- [inhales] that guy’s gonna kill himself, isn’t he. He’s gonna get himself killed, that’s crazy. [pause] [inhales and exhales, sounding like he’s almost crying] I can’t wait to be gone. I- you know what- [pause] there’s no. There’s no turning back. Things are done. I- am. Just gonna keep- going, til I die, and then- I’ll be in peace. [pause] I’ll- I’ll be in peace. [whispering] I’ll be in peace. I just have to die. I just have to die, maybe I’ll kill Clown in the attempt, but th- but then- but then what? [laughing] Then what?! I kill him once, he’s gonna wipe me off the server, he told me about this! [another noise] [inhales] Oh... He has four lives. He has four fucking lives, dude. Like even if I kill Clown, he’s just gonna come back and kill me again. And again. Until I’m dead, I’m gone. 

[quieter, sounding tired] I’m just- you know what. I’m just gonna. I’m just gonna go. [inhales] I guess- I can at least try to kill him. [inhales] Maybe- cause I’m dying. That is a hundred percent real. I am so dying, and you know what? I- can’t wait for that to happen. But until then- I shall practise to at least- at least- um. [pause] Oh my god. I- I gotta at least kill him once, like- I could have some sort of legacy on me before I die, I cannot die like a fucking loser who killed people that had like- worse armour, worse stats, worse everything. [pause] I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do it. Non-stop training, for the next days, until the 31st, and I’m gonna kill Clownpierce, even if it’s the last thing I do before I’m dead, and I am gone forever. [laughing] I’m gonna do it! I am doing it!

[trappedinafantasy37]

"Minthara is evil. Minthara is mean. Minthara is sadistic." And yet, none of those are valid reasons as to why I shouldn't commit numerous crimes against humanity for her. Trust me, I know exactly what Minthara is all about. It makes my heart swell and I crave it all. I experience true joy making babygurl happy. And if other people have to die for her happiness, then so be it.

[innerchorus]

are there differences between shapul and esfan? theyre the same character to me.

It took me a while to figure out how I wanted to respond to this mainly because it sounds like something my partner would say to antagonise me but let me give it my best shot.

I do think there are some differences between them (and I will of course mention those in this post) but I think it's more interesting to answer this question by looking at why these two characters are so alike, and specifically why the fact that they are so alike doesn't mean they are merely cardboard cutouts of each other and is vital to understanding them as characters.

First, while Shapur created a strong impression and is an important character to myself and many others, it's worth noting that he appears in relatively few scenes in the manga. That's enough to glean some info about what he's like as a character, but we don't get to spend as much time with him as we do with the main cast. Maybe that's part of why you feel this way.

We do, however, get to see a bit more of his younger brother, Isfan.

When you say that Shapur and Isfan are so alike they seem the same to you, my first response is pretty much "well, what did you expect, given the circumstances?". It's clear from the outset that Isfan wishes to follow in his brother's footsteps.

Here he is in Chapter 59, freshly arrived in Peshawar.

Straight away we learn he wants to avenge his brother's death and offer his service to Prince Arslan in his brother's stead.

From Chapter 64, right before his fight with Gieve.

Here we learn that not only did Shapur save Isfan, he actually taught him. The novels even mention that 'while his brother served as a military general in the royal capital, Isfan became an agent of the royal capital and stayed in his hometown to guard it,' so even before we meet him in the manga, Isfan was stepping into a role that had previously been occupied by his brother, a role that Shapur had trained him for.

It's very clear that Isfan looks up to his brother, idealises him and aspires to be the kind of person he was, not just in a military sense but also sharing his morals, viewing loyalty to one's country and protecting the weak as far more important than riches (as stated in Book 12 of the novels, this is something Shapur said that Isfan adheres to as well). Is it such a surprise that after being so closely taught by Shapur and clearly modelling himself on him, Isfan seems so like his older brother?

That's really why I think saying they're 'the same character' feels reductive, because the reasons why they are so similar tell you so much about them.

And despite Shapur appearing in only a few scenes before his death, the same thing works in reverse. When we meet Isfan, we also learn more about Shapur. I don't think there's any need to list it all as that's not really what your question was aimed at, but I hope you understand my point.

The two brothers do seem to share character traits (they can be hotheaded/rash, as seen with Isfan's fight against Gieve, him rushing hastily to attack Chassum Fortress, and in Shapur throwing down his helmet at Atropatene after learning the king had fled, and particularly in his rescue of Isfan where he rushed alone into the snowy mountains to save him) but again, they're related, sharing the same father. So it's not really a surprise. This does, however, also highlight a difference between them, one that comes down to age and experience.

When we meet Shapur, he's in his mid 30s, and a Marzban, one of the highest military positions possible in Pars.

When we meet Isfan, he's around 20, and although he's clearly got some combat experience he's not at his brother's level just yet. And while they share some traits like I outlined above, while Shapur likely had the age and experience to moderate his reactions a little bit (see how he backtracks after his initial outburst at Atropatene, and defers his conflict with Kubard for another day which never comes), Isfan doesn't, and on certain occasions (like rushing ahead at Chassum) his inexperience shows.

I also want to cover character design, because I think it's a deliberate choice by Arakawa to have there be some resemblance between the two but not have them appear totally identical. One, it highlights that Isfan has a different mother (the manga appears to give him her lighter hair colour), and two, I think it indicates that Isfan isn't just Shapur v2, he's not meant to be just a carbon copy of his brother. Maybe that's also why we haven't seen Isfan wield a spear, Shapur's weapon of choice.

That those visual differences highlight the difference in their birth circumstances feels important. Shapur was born into high status as his family's heir. Isfan was born to a enslaved mother and if not for Shapur's actions his father would have allowed him to die simply to pacify his wife. While Isfan now occupies the same privileged position that his brother grew up in, it could easily have been different.

Those circumstances (Isfan and his mother's abandonment in the mountains) also lead to a distinct difference between the two, which is fighting style. Okay, we don't see much of Shapur in combat but he's clearly a classically trained Parsian warrior. This is likely the nature of the training he gave Isfan, too. But Isfan has an element that is unique to him, something that wasn't influenced by his brother but relates to wolves.

In his fight with Gieve, Tanaka describes Isfan's movements as 'wolf-like' and in both the novel scene and Arakawa's manga adaptation, Gieve is surprised by Isfan's movements (specifically the kick seen below) which depart from orthodox swordsmanship with the unpredictability of the wild.

I don't think we would've seen Shapur pull a move like that!

Yes, I know it makes no sense for Isfan to have these wolf-like traits when the actual contact he had with them was very limited, but I'll forgive Tanaka this conceit because it's fucking cool okay?

Anyway I hope this satisfactorily answers the question. I'm aware I am very (very) into these two characters and not everyone will be as interested in them as I am, but I hope some of the the points in this post were of interest. Hopefully I didn't forget anything, I didn't get a chance to proofread!

[mersei47]

if there's one thing I learn when designing my oc it's that, don't make their appearance/clothing too complicated

[lizasweetling]

my brain blanked out of sheer elation on this one, so today's has thematically appropriate colored text

"the Vessel is not the Mind!" = Castle Says Trans Rights

[lalizah]

Liz does NOT want to turn or become a vampire under any circumstances. So when it is forced upon her...

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

not a threat but uhhh do any of yall play tf2 and would any of yall want to. play it with me?

[bizarrelittlemew]

i was hoping to make a post like this under happier circumstances, but here goes.

as some of you know, everything with the cancellation and renewal campaign has happened right on top of the worst part of my mom's cancer treatment (plus the show was cancelled on my actual birthday 💀). i won't go into details, but it's been tough. lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, luckily ending (for now) on as much of an up as circumstances allow. the whole thing has been weirdly tied to the cancellation for me, kind of amplifying every feeling. the grief got mixed up, and there was so much of it - mourning the loss of the kind of future i thought i'd have with my mother and the time we might not get, mourning the end of a show that means so much to me and is such a big part of my life. different types of grief, sure, and of different magnitudes, but in one big ugly swirl. i sort of had a breakdown right at the start of february, and it was because of news about my mom, but it morphed into my brain telling me everything i'd ever written was shit and wanting to delete it all. stuff like that, spilling over.

anyway. i was holding off on writing this post to see if the show got picked up by someone else. but i still want to say it. because what also spilled over was the support and community from this fandom, and being in this space (despite the rough times and high emotions) helped me through it, because of all of you here. whether we talk regularly, or you left a comforting reply or simply a like on one of my posts about having a hard time (i tried to keep them few), or wrote a nice comment on a fic, or said something funny or nice or insightful in the tags of a gifset, or was active here (or on twt) in any way, talking/sharing/creating stuff about the show - THANK YOU.

you all helped me through all the ups and downs, and i am so grateful. thank you for being here, listening, distracting, helping me feel some joy despite the horrors. i love you and i love this incredible show and all it has brought and will continue to bring and inspire, and although it should go without saying, i'm not going anywhere. just do me a favor and give yourself a big ol' hug from me, and know that you made a difference for some random guy on the internet (but in reality for many more, and for this fandom as a whole, just by being here and being you) 💕

[caffstrink]

Cain and abel sealed the fate of all siblings in history

[deservedgrace]

it is so frustrating to me when people only learn to be empathetic or care about something when it personally happens to them or someone they care about

and like, yes, obviously i'm glad when people learn better and do better, and i don't want to shame people that are now doing better because ultimately it's not helpful and changing at all is a good thing and i do want to acknowledge and celebrate that

but also why did it take you needing an abortion and almost dying to become pro-choice and advocate for abortion access? why could you only see the humanity in queer people when your brother came out? why do you only view racism as a real issue now that you're friends with a person of color?

why do things have to personally impact you for you to give a shit?

[mrs-theirin]

so tired of genuine complaints being thrown under the bus with "they will complain just because they want to complain" that's actually not how any of this works!

[goditsmeagain]

buck realising his feelings à la the new girl 'its nick' scene because this man will not question the platonic nature of his undying love unless someone points it out to him